Ashes
by SpiritWell
Summary: Moth, that's what the Spider named her. A beautiful brown thing with big eyes, who flew too close to the light and was burned. He'd caught her in his web so that she would not be burned by the lamp... But the fire in his eyes was another matter altogether. Final chapter finally up, and I'll soon be revising the whole story. If ye like the old chapters, best save them.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Inuyasha-- But I want Naraku-kun so very badly!  
-  
Me: Hey, Kagome, good to have you with us. Kagome: Good to be here, Spirit-chan... But what the hell were you thinking when you wrote this story? Me: One of my more fangirlish thoughts. Kagome: Obviously, but WHY? Me: Because I'm the author. I can do this sort of thing. Naraku: Can't argue with you there. Kagome: What? He's here? Me: You're the two mains, who did you expect? David Bowie? sighs Kagome: You get him right out of here, or I quit! Me: You can't quit, dear... You signed the contract. And it had some very fine print. Kagome: What? Me: Firstly, the moderately fine print... You cannot quit, and you must work with Naraku. You must accept the mush, and do the story. And, you must do the after-story commentary. Kagome: Jeebus... How do you stupid authors find so much fine print? Me: Lawyers are good like that. If you put the disclaimer on your story, they can be pretty genial. Naraku: Genial as rabid dogs. Kagome: Why are you still here! Me: Bad Kagome! Naraku: Yeah, loser. Besides, we need to start the story. Kanna: Yes... Story... I shall let them start, Master Naraku.

-

She sat in her cell, head down, blood caked into her scalp as her raven hair flowed over her ashen face. Her arms were chained, and her wrists rubbed raw.

But she wouldn't cry out.

She wouldn't give him that.

"Bastard." she spat quietly, her eyes full of loathing. "Worthless half-breed with no soul. What I would give to kill you right here and now..."

"Ah, I thought you did not discriminate about blood." came the amused, scathing voice.

A large figure with a baboon suit sat cross-legged outside her cell, observing almost regretfully the antics of his favorite prisoner.

"You give half-breed a whole new meaning." she replied, tossing her black hair. It was dull now, and dirty... She didn't bathe anymore, water was too precious in this cold, bleak, stony underground.

"Can I never break you?" he asked, his voice instantly changing from silky honey to abrasive annoyance.

"I won't be broken, I'll die first." she replied, her clouded brown eyes meeting his deep, soulless red ones.

"I suppose you will." returned the other voice quietly. "Will you not simply join me? You shall have all the comforts I can provide..." His tone was wheedling, and the man almost seemed to be begging.

She was reminded of a greasy car sales-man with slicked back black hair.

He had black hair, but it hung loose and long, entrancing.

How she wanted to run her fingers through that hair...

At least he had the smirk right. White teeth. Phony. Unless he was watching someone die...

She wondered vaguely if he ever smiled...

She thought not.

"No. I cannot join you, for my soul would break if I did. Death is easier." she said firmly, watching him through a lidded gaze, challenging him as best she could.

Life meant nothing anymore.

"Even after what he did to you, you still shall not abandon him... Pathetic, yet touching." said the Spider, his hand on one of the bars of her cell door.

She thought of him as the Spider because she vaguely understood that if she allowed herself to be caught in his invisible web, she could never leave.

But perhaps she was already caught.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"He loved her, and chose the way he wished to. Neither he nor the others deserve abandonment..."

"Though they abandoned you, allowed me to capture you, to lock you in, and did not find you?"

"THEY DO NOT KNOW WHERE I AM! THEY CARED, DON'T YOU DARE SAY OTHERWISE!" she spat, her eyes raising in defiance.

He smirked. At least she was looking at him now, and he could see her piercing brown eyes and gaze into them, wondering why he never killed her.

He tortured her, yes... But when it came to that last point, he would always turn away.

He told himself that was because she would suffer more this way.

But he'd begun to think he enjoyed her company.

"I suppose I should respect the dead." he said quietly, noting her response, a quiet glare.

It was a dull gaze, and she turned her head down, staring dully at the floor.

A tear slipped onto the cold stone.

Poor Shippo... She missed him. She hoped he was happy with his parents. They were better off there.

She spoke to them, sometimes. She would tell Shippo about her adventures, give him pocky. And he'd squeal with joy.

Sango would hit Miroku for the millionth time that day.

Inuyasha would take his ramen and give her a mumbled thank you.

She wondered if she was going insane.

It wasn't a farfetched hypothesis.

"Do you think I'm going insane?" she inquired abruptly.

He looked at her, almost surprised. "Perhaps." he said quietly, thinking. Moth, that's what he thought of her as... A beautiful brown thing with big eyes, that flew too close to the light and got burned.

He'd caught her in his web so that she would not be burned by the lamp...

But she might be burned by the flame.

"Will you ever let me go to them?" she asked dully, staring up at the one small window at the top of her cell.

A robin sometimes perched there.

It was a pretty thing, speckled and bright. It sung cheery tunes, twittering about the outside world.

She wanted to kill it, sometimes. For telling her of things that couldn't be.

But it was a nice dream, her euphoria... When she was all alone, dreams were all that was left in her broken existence... As she gathered herself together, only to fall apart again...

Ring around the rosies, A pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Falling into oblivion...

She wondered if they had roses in heaven.

"I would let you come up to the castle, if you would only join me." he said quietly, yet again.

"Nay." she replied without a thought. It was her automatic response.

How many things had become automatic, in this recurring story?

They sat in silence, letting the quiet breeze filter through.

Finally, she looked at him. "Are you ever tired?" she inquired softly, her fluid voice filled with something akin to pity.

"Often." he replied. It was ironic, really---The only one he ever opened up to was a prisoner he tormented quite frequently. "But what do you mean?"

"Tired of all this," she replied. "Hate, jealousy, suffering, sorrow..---The mortal condition."

"Once I have the jewel, I will no longer be mortal." he replied.

"Oh, really? Somehow I don't believe it..." she said.

He rose, turning, tired of her constant psychoanalysis. He paused, though, at the last minute. "Why?"

"Because even if you banish him, Onigumo still lives. And Naraku? He lives too. We are all mortal, Naraku. But some are more mortal than others."

Nodding, he left silently. There was much to think on.

She lay down on the stone floor and sobbed. 


	2. Chapter 2

She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, her arms crossed over her legs, rocking back and forth, humming quietly to herself.

He had ordered her chains to be removed.

She was grateful for that.

But she still bled.

He quietly sat in front of the cell, looking at her. "You intrigue me, human." he said, with some surprise.

"Oh? Why?"

"Because you still do not break." he replied, with frustration thinly veiled in his voice.

"I reckon I'll never break." she said, lifting her head in defiance.

'Of course,' he thought, 'your pride is too great for that.'

They sat silently for a moment, neither wishing to speak.

"Your food is here." he stated, passing the bowl of miso through the grate. He had also given her rice today, she noted.

"Thank you." she said, picking up the simple wooden chopsticks and eating silently.

She used to refuse the food. She was more practical now.

She no longer dreamed of sunlight.

Though she often wished that her dreams could be so simple and innocent once more.

Her brown cotton dress was stained red.

And it had damp spots on it from where she had wept.

"Will you re-consider?" he asked quietly.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because what you offer is merely a simple illusion of sunlight, with no true form... No rest for my soul in that." she replied almost sorrowfully.

He noted that she looked angelic when she was stating her truth. Especially with that light shining on her face...

"What if I offered more than simply physical content?" he asked quietly, realizing he had accessed the root of the issue.

She did not answer.

"I see." he rose. "Perhaps I can change your mind after all." And with that cryptic statement, he left.

She stared at the wall again, sinking into foolish daydreams, constantly filled with black hair and red eyes. -  
Me: Well, how'd you like 'dem apples? Kagome: I didn't. That chapter was creepy. Me: Dear, you thought the last chapter was creepy. Kagome: I bet I'll find them ALL creepy. Me: Trust me, you will. Kagome: How reassuring. Me: Whatever. Naraku: Something tells me that I may enjoy this plot. Where are you going with it? Me: Ah, the usual... Now, about that fine print, there's a finer print to it. Kagome: Huh? Me: You know, finer print. There's a lot of the stuff on here. Kagome: SAY WHAT!  
Me: Don't kill the author! Naraku: Really, don't. I'm interested about this story of hers. Me: Hahahahahaha! In yo face, Kag-chan! Kagome: Meanie, that's wot you are. A MEANIE! Me: WAAAAAAAH! So hurtful! Naraku: This is going to take a while... 


	3. Chapter 3

She felt like she was no longer capable of rational thought.

After all of her time in this prison, it was likely. With only him as company...

She recalled having read something about wives loving their abusive husbands, perhaps more.

It wasn't healthy, but it just was. It was all they'd ever known...

She wondered if her case was like that.

"Hello." he greeted, same as always.

She nodded silently. He slid her food through the grate. She began to eat, saying nothing.

"Your family has probably forgotten about you." he said quietly.

She did not deem that worthy of an answer, and simply stared out the window.

For they both knew that it was a lie.

'Poor Souta... Mom... Grandpa...'

She looked like a sorrowful martyr, staring at the sun.

He had to admit, she was beautiful. His precious little Moth...

But she flew close to the sun, as always, and laughed at the stupidity of those who aimed for lower goals.

But she would be burnt someday, by the great fire she was building with every word she spoke.

The web she was weaving was just as strong as his own.

She turned so that her back faced him and she was staring fully at the window.

She turned so that he could not see the tear slide down her cheek.

But he still did.

"You spoke of comfort for the soul." he said quietly. "Where can that be sought?"

"Only a happy heart or a clear mind can contain it." she said quietly. "And it is something that must be sought with patient fidelity."

"Not one of my best traits." he replied, chuckling.

She was not amused. "I see that."

"Must you always be such a cold thing?" he asked tiredly.

"Yes."

He chuckled. "You admit to it, then."

"Yes."

"Dammit, girl, you really are cold..." Spider snapped.

She glared. "I mirror what I see."

He thought. "I suppose that's reasonable."

She laughed.

He smiled.

She hadn't laughed for some time.

Standing, he felt his energy renewed. "I'll see you tomorrow." he said quietly, nodding farewell. She looked up in surprise.

He'd never said goodbye before, or promised to be back tomorrow.

Her jaw almost dropped, but she gained composure at the last moment.

"I'll see you then." she said quietly, glad he was leaving, for whatever was happening was too big, too instant, for her to take in all at once.

She sat quietly, mulling, her mind completely buzzing with confusion.

And then she slept. -  
Kagome: Oh, this is rich. Me: Why are you so darn cruel? Kagome: Oh, come off it... I can never keep a straight face when you write THESE. Me: Fine... So, what's so bad about you and Naraku! Naraku: 0o... It's just creepy, man. Kagome: ...Oddly, I agree. Me: See! You DO have something in common. Naraku/Kagome: So... scary.  
Me: I'll have them together by the end of the story! Naraku: Will she really? Kagome: I don't doubt it... 


	4. Chapter 4

She sat, thinking hard. He was up to something, she knew it.

Today, she'd woken up to a nice bouquet of flowers, and a breakfast of hot, filling porridge.

It actually had sugar, which she knew was a precious commodity.

Something was up.

And it reeked of Spider.

He sat beside her. "Did you enjoy your breakfast?" he asked.

"What are you trying to pull?" she spat suspiciously.

"Same thing I've been trying to pull the whole time you're been down here." he snapped back.

She paled, confused, something strange building in the pit of her stomach. "What is that?" she asked quietly.

He smirked. "You even need to ask?"

His lips were pressed over hers in an instant, and after one moment of terror, she relaxed into his arms, returning the kiss with fervor.

'I'm mad, aren't I?' she thought distractedly as he pulled away. She made to back off.

He pulled her to him. "Come with me." he whispered temptingly. "Leave this dungeon. Forget your pain... They do not deserve your fidelity."

Spider crooned softly and stroked her hair.

Moth closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of another's touch, something she had been denied for years.

"No..." she struggled vainly, fighting the warmth within. "I shan't be unfaithful... I shall die here, in the shadow."

"With no light? Never again to see the day?" he tempted softly, gently kissing her neck and holding her even closer to him.

She longed for nothing more than to simply relax into his embrace and forget all about everything, all about what she stood for, all about the goddamn heros and heroines and their rights and wrongs...

And to simply be Moth, as she was, without the game.

But she stayed silent, her internal battle raging quietly within her mind, yet showing in naught more than the furrow of her brow.

Yet that alone was enough for the ever watchful Spider to witness.

"I shall see you in the morrow." he whispered softly. "Sleep well, and dream... And think it over. Perhaps, tomorrow, your answer may be different."

He stood, and Moth felt bereft without his arms around her.

Within, something nearly broke and she almost cried out his name, called for him to hold her again and forgot forever all that she had never stood for...

Yet pride, the awful thing it is, stayed her tongue.

Moth watched the man she loved rise slowly and close the iron door behind him, once again locking her into the prison she had begun to call home.

Once again, she sat quietly and began to cry. -  
Me: Now I have them both captive... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Naraku: No, you're doing it all wrong. You need to let the 'ha' work for you, Dear... You can't try to force it. Now, only use three 'ha's with a Mua. And let the last keep going, so you still have the desired effect. Now, try it. Me: Muahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa? Kagome: 0O Me: I know! He actually gives good advice! Naraku: I could make a good main, you know. Anti-heroes are getting more popular every day. Me: And you're such teh hotness!  
Kagome: If you like him so much, why don't YOU go after him? Me: Because, my dear, Readers don't like that. Naraku: They don't... They really don't... I'd rather have Kikyo. Kagome: What? Naraku: She's pretty, at least... You're so annoying and fangirlish. Kagome: Meanie!  
Naraku: The viewers don't like having me with originals... They want me with a goddamn fangirl who giggles and whose only purpose is to bring Inuyasha ramen! Kagome: 0.0...That's it, monkey boy, you're going DOWN. 


	5. Chapter 5

It had been many days since that day when she had refused to go with him, and every day was the same...

He asked, she refused, and he said nothing, embracing her for a time too long and yet too short, and leaving Moth in a constant state of anxiety.

She knew him too well to think he was content with merely visiting her cell.

He smiled.

She wasn't used to his smiles, so she simply ignored them...

That made it easier to keep her head down, eat her bowl of rice, and attempt to forget the events of all the yesterdays gone by.

"Good morning." he said softly, settling down beside her in the cell once again.

She hated him for doing that, for she knew that he knew the effect that had on her...

The fact that whenever she was near him, her knees went weak and she found herself incapable of proper speech.

It was degrading, it was embarrassing, it was humiliating beyond belief... Yet it was also enticingly familiar.

Every morning she woke to it, every day she thought of it, and every night she dreamt of it.

She'd begun to consider titling her situation a mere case of Stockholm Syndrome...

Now that he didn't hit her anymore, she couldn't exactly call him an abusive husband.

Was he a husband?

Had he so easily transformed from the enemy to the lover that she barely noticed the change?

If so, she would be dreadfully pissed.

"Good morning." she mumbled, continuing to pick at her rice and hating the fact that she felt like a petulant child.

He smiled back at her, and though she did not look up, she felt the smile warm her bones and her cheeks...

She also heard his deep, dark chuckle, which only heightened her blush.

"Well then, little Moth." he said with tender softness, lifting her chin so her eyes were forced to meet his.

"Is your mind changed? Will you take back the words you have so often spoke and begin anew?"

Moth shook her head. "I-I won't... I can't!"

She hated the desperation within her voice and the break in her tone...

She longed to be firm, but instead felt droplets of water leaking from her eyes and being absorbed into the concrete.

Spider gently wiped away her tears, a move she could not help but consider gallant.

"Hush..." he murmured softly. "I can wait. I will wait until you are ready to come up into the world again..."

Of course, this only made her cry harder.

He pulled her into his arms and she did not fight, feeling herself far beyond the chance she had had to speak foul and venomous words...

Now, all she could do was tremble like a leaf and pray her discipline did not fail her.

But his embrace and the warmth of the fabric he wore made her heady, and she buried her head in his shirt, desperate and starved for a single kind look, and yet afraid, knowing who was the only person who could bestow that look and afraid they might.

He did not withdraw again, as he had done yesterday.

Today, Spider simply held her close and said nothing, allowing Moth to spin herself a web that would block her into a corner from which she could only escape through his arms...

And, in the process of escaping her own web, she would catch herself in his and rebound into the safety of the protected world he lived in now.

He had the Shikon Jewel, he had his desire, and yet nothing had happened.

He had been able to make no wish despite his constant attempts, and now he lived in anger with Moth as his only escape.

Moth simply allowed herself to rest, gathering her strength for the inevitably approaching time when one of them would have to withdraw for each to go their separate ways and sleep...

Yet, when she tried to withdraw, he merely tightened his hold and held her closer.

The harder she tried to escape, the closer he held her, until finally she stopped and rested once again within his arms, trembling like a frantic rabbit.

Softly, crooning in silence, Spider stroked her hair.

Lulled by his touch, she fell asleep. -  
Naraku: Bring it, minute maid miko. Kagome: You SO did not just say that!  
Naraku: Try me. Me: Naraku-kun and Kagome-chan ish gonna duke it out! Naraku: Cheer for me? Me: Ack... So... Fangirlish.  
Kagome: Don't you dare. Me: Sorry, Kag-chan... GO NARAKU-KUN! Naraku/Kagome: BANG! PUNCH! KABLOOIE! KABLANG! Me: GASPETH! Such... Intricate... Fight-ness. Shippo: Why do you add -ness to all your words?  
Me: I like eet. Ha. Shippo: Suit yourself! Kagome/Naraku: KABLOOIE BANG SMASH BANG!  
Shippo: That's gotta hurt. Me: Yup yup. :3 Shippo: I see... Who ya betting on? Me: Hmm... Kag-chan, cuz she has the arrows. Shippo: Didn't you say you'd cheer for Naraku?  
Me: Right... Sorry, Naraku-kun. Naraku: That's cool. Shippo: Umm. Me: Tee hee... 


	6. Chapter 6

Moth noted that he was still there in the morning, still with his arms wrapped around her, eyes closed against the sun.

She had known him too long to not be surprised that in his sleep he seemed almost peaceful, untouched by the world around him, innocent despite the foul deeds he had committed, and the most handsome thing she had ever seen.

Biting her lip, Moth raised a trembling hand and softly stroked the hair away from his brow.

She did not notice the smile on his face widen, and until too late she did not notice the quick moving hand that caught her wrist and the wicked mouth that planted a soft kiss upon her palm.

She squeaked, and he simply wrapped his other arm around her, causing her to fall into him once again.

He smiled to himself at her innocence, burying his face into her hair and sniffing the sweet scent that somehow reminded him of both lavender and jasmine tea.

It was a simple plan, but it seemed to work...

He wooed her with silence, he wooed her with patience, he wooed her with the same kind of tender love she had so longed for as a child.

Yet she had never expected it to come from the villain, the shadow, the one she was supposed to defeat...

No, those traits were supposed to belong to the hero, and he and the heroine would live happily ever after.

Inuyasha was a bit of a disappointment in that way.

She had to admit to herself, she did not love him anymore...

Her affections were placed more dangerously.

Far, FAR, more dangerously.

Her affections were placed upon the villain, and with them he flourished, growing under the nourishment of her helpless adoration and drawing his strength from her agonized glances.

She was his good luck charm.

Though slightly affronted, with feathers ruffled, Moth could not help but smile softly as he held her close again.

He knew how to play this game very well, she had decided...

Yet part of her prayed that it wasn't just a game.

He softly lowered his head to her neck once again and continued his tender ministrations.

Moth's eyes fluttered shut and her breath became more relaxed as she allowed him to softly kiss her neck, in a manner far too innocent to simply be innocent.

He was Spider, after all.

He gently put her down and stood, and Moth did not bother to stifle her cry of disappointment.

She silently reached out a hand, falling to her knees on the stone floor.

Spider quietly turned, his eyes glittering dangerously.

He held out a hand, and uttered a single word that was a command yet wasn't, a word that simply encompassed all of her desires.

"Come."

Mute and pale, she stood, and tremblingly placed her hand in his.

Spider's smile was the only thing that gave away his triumphant joy, and Moth did not mind the powerful excitement within his eyes.

She smiled gently in return and clung silently to his shirt, burying her face into his chest and promising herself she would never let go.

Spider gently lifted her into his arms as one would a small child and quietly carried her out of the dungeon, a slight smile on his face.

'She is mine...' he decided softly, entering the upper level of his home.

And he would never let her go. -  
Me: Awwwww! Shippo: You find that CUTE?  
Me: Umm. Naraku: Her answer is obvious, is it not? Kagome: Isn't it, though? Me: Go away, Shippo! I'm going to matchmake now. Shippo: DUM DUM DUM.  
Me: Shoooo! And you shoo too, till I can come up with further ideas. Please tell me any you have... Thanks. 


	7. Chapter 7

GOMEN FOR TAKING SO LONG! TT 

I mean: Dear Reviewers,

As of late, I have been experiencing the worse disease a writer can ever have-- Writer's Block.

I try time and again, yet I can't seem to get it done, so here's an interesting, musing little interlude which may have to push my story to a PG rating. XD No lemon, though. Lemon just isn't meh thing. Again, if anyone has ideas, they are appreciated... If not, I'll just go with the 'Kagome escaping, big battle ensuing' and all that.

Naraku: Indeed, that does sound like a pleasant idea.

Kagome: . You're still here?

Naraku: Of course, the authoress is promising bloodshed.

Kagome: Spirit-chan, I hate you SO much right now.

SpiritWell: I love you too, Kagome dear...

Shippo: Spirit-chan! What happened to your matchmaking dreams?

SpiritWell: Nyah, you'll see... On with the show! -------

Moth lay quietly on the mat that she and Spider shared, eyes closed as she listened to the pounding of rain upon the window.

It had been months, it seemed, since she had last been in that dark dungeon that was once her home.

Moth barely remembered it now, barely remembered the dark walls and the humid air, barely remembered anything, not even how desperately she had fallen in love with Spider.

Moth didn't seem to remember anything since the night her Lord had comforted her after a fit of hysterics...

He had administered medicine that halted the pain in her chest and enabled her to turn from the body of the bloodied hanyou.

Moth barely seemed to remember that hanyou, for he was no more than a pair of fluffy ears and a memory of past comfort to her.

There was little left to remember but a growing desire to escape some sort of trap that she had created for herself, some trap that she could not see, but one that was slowly making itself clear to her heart.

Spider knew that what he had done was utterly wrong, yet it did not bother him in the least.

It had not bothered him when torture was his only contact with this human who so delighted him, and it did not cause even the slightest twinge of guilt to drop a special powder into her drink everyday.

Supposedly, it would send her into a a state of docility...

His Moth would obey him without thought, stay with him forever, not even recognize her friends were they to be brought before her as the dog had been.

But Spider knew that this drink he had given his little pet was something she would one day become immune to, and then he would have to find some other way to keep her with him.

He opened his eyes to find her staring at him with that blank gaze.

It was the most unnerving part of the potion, that the brilliant fire he had once seen within her lustrous brown eyes was gone, replaced by a dull brown similar to the eyes of that boy he had used against the slayer to bring about her end.

And yet...

It also delighted him, for it made his little Moth seem even more of a prisoner of war, a spoil, and it delighted Onigumo to have that faint trace of his old, barbaric life back.

Moth's eyes weren't always a dull brown, however...

Every once in a while, life would flare into them, as it was doing now, she would do something utterly peculiar and unprecedented, and Spider would always humor her tiny whims.

Moth reached out a soft hand and stroked his cheek, attempting to recapture a process she had so long ago given up, the process of dredging up old memories from within the muck that was her muddied mind.

"We are not so different, you and I." she whispered softly, voice eerily lyrical and childish. "Brown and brown, black and black, and my skin will soon be white as yours. We are not so different, you and I."

Spider always hated it when this was her game...

She would tell him what they had in common, talking into the early hours of the morning, and would not be silenced until he kissed her.

Somehow, today he felt calmer and decided that he could stand to hear what she thought they had in common.

"We are not so different, you and I," she began again, "You are haunted by someone who shares your soul, and I am as well. We are not so different, you and I."

Sometimes, her words made powerful sense, and he would be contented to bury his face in her dark locks and listen to her whisper whatever came to mind.

She spoke for hours, it seemed, voice never faltering, until she softly whispered her last phrase. "We are not so different, you and I... I love you, and you love me. We are not so different, you and I."

Moth closed her eyes, and Spider stood.

Tonight would be the night he would choose to fall apart, and tonight he would absorb those ears she had loved so much, as a small indulgence to his Moth's odd little whims.

He left the room and walked away, down the hall, leaving her almost entirely unguarded.

When he was out of view, Moth let out a soft sigh and pulled a small pack from under the bed.

"We are not so different, you and I..." Moth whispered at last, voice keen with sorrow. "You can be kind, and I can be cruel."

Then she slid out of bed, pulled on a pair of slippers, and tore through the rice paper curtain that separated her room from a small garden.

Spider had given her that garden, when she had come to terms...

He had given her many flowers, and a tiny patch of sunlight for them to grow in.

Her garden was the only place on the entire estate where sun shone.

It would not be her garden much longer.

When Spider discovered she had gone, he would order it torn up and mangled miserably.

That was how he was, her Spider.

Kind and cruel at the very same time...

"I don't love him." she whispered sadly.

She had not been in pain for a very long time, but nor had she been in love.

She knew he had done it, and were she to have been the Kagome who had once held such power over herself, she would have kicked and screamed and hurt him badly...

But she was not Kagome, she was Moth.

She was an empty shell, a husk of what she had been, and she knew he was to blame for that.

"Red blood..." she whispered softly as she accidentally pricked a finger on a hedge whilst she trekked across the miasma. "I wonder if his blood is red, or is it so cold that it stays blue even in the fresh air?"

Soon it began to permeate her mind and left her sickened, ill beyond belief.

Moth vomited into the barren soil, again and again, and every time she took a breath her mind seemed that much clearer, and she felt that much more alive.

When the medicine was utterly out of her system, Moth silently picked up her bag again and began to run, run as she had not run in ages, run through the miasma until she reached the barrier and touched it, burning her hand hideously.

Uncaring, Moth took a running leap and passed through that barrier, tumbling to the ground, touching the grass, and sobbing.

Moth was happy, oh so happy...

The grass was fresh and green, and there were trees, and the sky was a blue she had forgotten so long ago.

Moth trekked down the paths, cathartic in her joy, sniffing the air like a barbaric beast and relishing in a brightness that burned her retinas after so much shadow.

Moth pretended to forget about Spider, and found herself far happier that way.

Then she could pretend he wouldn't come looking for her, that he wouldn't throw her back into that hideous dungeon, and she could skip along the paths with all the gleeful giddiness of a little girl.

Little did Moth know that someone was observing her, noting her every move...

Not because of who she was, but because of who she had known. 


	8. Chapter 8

SpiritWell: I know-- About damn time, isn't it? This was the hardest so far, and I'll probably get better as time goes by. This'll probably be a 20 chapter story, or something. Who knows!

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The man with the silver hair stood, cloaked in shadows, hidden amongst the golden patterns of sunlight that were painfully brilliant upon Moth's hair.

His golden eyes, lucid with a glittering madness, locked upon Moth's face as he hungrily remembered every detail of the past that was now so far off.

He had known her once, this stranger...

He had known the Moth before she was Moth, when she had been his brother's woman, and he had been jealous of the half demon for his foolish and beautiful human wench.

"Kagome." he tested the word on his tongue, and the resulting sound was so harsh that Moth swerved, eyes rabbit wide, observing a figure from her past.

She backed away, but when the strange memory did not attack, Moth tested her own throat. "Moth. Kagome is gone." she said simply.

He nodded. "I see."

There was silence for a time, then the man with the golden eyes moved slightly, triggering the memory of another with golden eyes.

She closed her brown gaze against them and found herself sorely missing the comfort that denial had brought.

It was easier to forget than to dwell on the past.

He turned and she followed, through the winding forest, in utter silence. A name had come to her, and she tested it, savoring the past despite it's sting.

They reached a large mansion, decayed and brown, on the verge of ruin, and she spoke again. "Sesshomaru. Brother of-"

"We are here." he said abruptly, reaching out and grasping the iron door handle so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Moth noticed this, and her eyes softened.

"Parent of Rin..." she began, feeling a deep sense of pity for the white skinned man as she recalled his mortal charge.

"Wench of my brother. Wench of Naraku." he snapped in return, evidently injured by the mere memory of the brown-haired newling.

She flinched as though struck and was once again dumb, putting one bare foot before the other.

The dog stopped and let her pass him, eyes intent, hungrily drinking up every detail of her form as memories surged through him.

He stared at her lithe form, her fluid brown hair, the slender swell of her back, and his eyes grew dark with a peculiar sort of anguish.

He coveted her as he never would have coveted her before, he wanted her because of what she invoked, the memories she brought back from the dead.

He had been alone for so long, since She died...

They reached a small room and he opened the door, revealing a study with a large couch and a few blankets.

There were books, yet Moth barely remembered text.

"Rin?" she whispered softly, turning to look into eyes keen with longing.

"Long gone." he said simply, turning and leaving.

Moth sighed and looked out at the sky, darkening with malice and nighttime. Her Lord and Master would know by now, and how angry he would be...

She relished the thought of his embrace when he found her, and yet was repulsed by the thought of the dank dungeon where she had been held prisoner.

Moth knew she would return to that same prison again, when she was found, and that once again she would be victim to the tempests of her Spider's wrath.

"Goodnight." The words issued from her lips with a dreary sigh as Moth pulled up a ragged blanket and closed her eyes.

Her dreams were not good ones.

They were filled with eyes that she had seen once before, golden eyes so similar to those of the dog demon who had just allowed her into his home.

Yet they were not the eyes of Sesshomaru. They were the eyes of another dog demon, and her very being cried out to him.

These eyes echoed with sorrow, pain, and wisdom. He had never known such wisdom when they had been in love, but now it was there.

The eyes looked at her without reproach, and his wild eyes maintained a gentle sort of regret, fiercened only by his wildness.

I loved Kagome, those eyes seemed to say, I loved Kagome, and Kagome is now gone.

Moth's soul constricted with pain-- How she wanted to deny his claims!

She wished with all of her heart that she could run into his arms and laugh as she would have long ago, wished she could take advantage of those tempting prayer beads around his neck.

Yet she could not, for he was right.

The one he had loved was gone, long gone, and his bones could not be properly mourned by she who remained.

When he had knelt before her Lord and Master and appealed to Kagome, his words had fallen on deaf ears.

Kagome was no more, now that Spider was through with her.

Moth was the only one left, and when she looked in the mirror, she was not the same being who had once been so happy.

"Forgive me," her broken voice proffered to the darkness, "But I am not the woman you loved, Inuyasha."

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SpiritWell: Ohmegee! Suspensful, very much so. And cute too.  
Oh, and in response to your question, Faye faye-chan, I actually haven't... Could be fun, though.

Kagome: Dear God... Did you REALLY have to put that idea into her head?

SpiritWell: Oh yush. :3 Thank you very much, Faye faye. This will be a most pleasant idea to work on, if I ever manage to finish Ashes.

Naraku: I don't believe you ever will.

SpiritWell: And why is that?

Naraku: Well, you said Kagome and I would be a couple by the end of the story-- And, since our revulsion is mutual, that's not going to happen anytime soon.

SpiritWell: Well...

Kagome: I don't like that look in your eyes.

SpiritWell: You shouldn't.

Anyway, peoples, REVIEW! 


	9. Chapter 9

SpiritWell: Has anyone here ever listened to the song by Evanescence entitled 'Haunted'? Well, it goes pretty well with this story-- most songs by Evanescence do, actually. I'm happy because I finally got their CD! Life is good. Bamfield, the place I went for the week, was fun. I'm depressed 'cause none of the people at my school like me, but that's okay. I'm reading Labyrinth fanfiction and getting re-addicted-- Is that even a word? Nyah, doesn't matter. Track 11 on the CD, Whisper, is brilliant, and-

Naraku: Get to the point, dear Authoress. PLEASE.

SpiritWell: 0x0 You called me dear? Just for that, I shan't rant anymore. And you don't have to hear the 'educational film' story.

Kagome: Trust me, you're better off ignorant.

Naraku: I'll take your word for it, Miko.

SpiritWell: You know what your problem is? Kagome's too stubborn and Naraku's too cool. I shall whack both of you over the head with my dictionary of doom if you don't just give it up already!

Naraku and Kagome, in grudging unison: Fine.

SpiritWell: Good! Now someone do the disclaimer already.For God's sake, I wanna start the frikkin' story!

Shippo: . Right. SpiritWell does not own anyone, not even a cat. Because hers just died. Feel sorry for her.

SpiritWell: Thank you! Now, on with the show... As you've probably guessed, I love skipping chunks of time. Please bear with me, and as the story gets into full blown action these missing spaces will appear less and less often.

Arigatou for your patience.

----

The morning brought no relief, nor did the mornings after.

Moth had not expected it to, but she had not expected to feel a fierce longing within her chest that seemed to want to rip her heart out.

She had been within the Dog's home for a good few weeks, and yet nothing happened.

She was fed, of course. But when she chose not to leave her room, no one contended that choice. It had given her time to think.

She wanted her Spider, badly. But she also wanted the man who had once been hers. She felt a desperate desire to see him again, but he was dead.

After a moment of silence, she arose. The dawn had not yet broke, and she could not help but smile as she looked upon the room around her.

This pattern of hers was one directly related to Spider's influence. He'd always said she could sleep in, but she never had...

One last hint of defiance, Moth supposed.

It was time to leave the room. But first, she would need clothing.

When she looked around for something to wear, Moth discovered a kimono that had obviously been laid out for her.

It was odd, that she hadn't noticed it before.

Letting out an exclamation of pleasure, she picked it up and looked at it closely, running her fingers over the pattern.

It was undecorated but for a simple hibiscus flower twining itself about the sleeve, contrasting sharply with the kimono's grey shade.

"Grey for the inbetween place..." she whispered softly, a wry smile covering her gentle mouth. "Accurate."

Moth let her hair flow loose and free, stepping outside of her room with the silent grace of one used to fear.

She made her way down the hallway, to a door she hadn't seen before, and through it found herself in another room.

Moth had never felt so... Clear, before.

She no longer had that fuzzy sensation to contend with, and within the Dog's home it seemed there were no dark barriers to separate her from the beauty that was the world.

Now, all there were were many halls-- But those halls were enough.

They suffocated her, and Moth wanted desperately to find her way out of this massive prison.

She needed to find some door, a door that would let her out into a courtyard that she might breath the fresh air.

Soon, she came across such a door and a small sob of relief tore from her throat as she breathed the rich tang of early morning dew.

So much had changed... Moth knew, instinctively, that if she were to have been here when she was 16 this would have been a place neatly kept.

She was not the only one to have experienced change in this world. It led her to wonder-- How much HAD she missed, locked away in her silent misery?

Moth was pondering this thought when he appeared like a silent shadow in the mist. She observed the Dog and he silently observed her in return.

He was an enigma. She had been in his home for a good few weeks and the Dog had barely talked to her.

She was silent, and he seemed to prefer that to the chatter that her Spider had taken for granted.

Moth wistfully remembered the days when she had been indulged in her chattering tendencies-- Not by Spider, but by those from before.

Her mother. Her brother. Her grandfather. Perhaps Buyo had passed on by now. Cats don't live very long beyond 18, if even that.

She hoped that if he was dead, that he was happy.

She allowed herself a contented smile as she pictured the fat cat from ages before, wearing his angel wings.

He wouldn't be able to get to heaven, he was just so HEAVY...

Despite herself, at this image Moth burst into a merry peal of laughter.

The fresh air was infecting her lungs, and her bare feet, numbed by the chill, only made the exhilaration seem all the greater.

The dog observed her, and was amazed.

Since he had brought her into his home, the woman had been a perfect guest, silent and polite. She had been grave, and she had been respectful.

And now, for no reason at all, she was laughing merrily as though all were right with the world, as though she were not being sought for by the most influential demon of the times.

Spider had become such, after all. While Moth had been within her cell, he had conquered all others, including the Dog.

Now these ruins were all that was left of his once spectacular empire.

Spider ruled all. Moth could not escape him by hiding in one place, though she might not know it.

The Dog could easily turn her over for a large sum of money.

And yet... He did not. He could not. He did not love Moth, but he longed to own her. He needed to cage this last reminiscence of a golden past.

Could one truly blame him for seeking refuge in the past, when it was so much brighter than the future?

"Good morning," he said finally, unsure of what else could be said, "I trust you slept well?"

Moth looked at the Dog, mouth agape.

He finally spoke to her, yet it was not what she had supposed it would have been.

His eyes were intent, but he seemed casual to the point of being desperate.

Was the once great Dog embarrassed?

Moth smiled softly, looking down at her hands, resting upon her lap. "Very well, this night and all the nights previous. Thank you for your hospitality."

"Memories are hard to come by." he returned simply. "Breakfast?"

And so it went. Together, they whiled away the time.

He was cold, and she was respectful, and soon they grew to be distant friends, brought together by circumstance.

After a while, the Dog knew what he had feared would soon come to pass.

Spider's search was beginning to span wider, and the Dog's home would soon be searched.

He could not let her be lost, this link to the past. She had been in his home for 6 months, and now he could not imagine not having her there.

He had told her everything. She knew of Rin, and her death. She knew of how he ached. She knew of how his reign had fallen.

Yet there was one thing he would not tell her. He would keep it from her until he could not hide it anymore. Then he didn't know what he would do.

"Why do you look so sorrowful, Dog?" she asked him, one memorable evening by the fire.

He stared at her intently, over the flickering glare of the fire. Moth wore a sky blue kimono, simple and beautiful. She perched by the fire with easy grace.

The Dog wanted this so badly... He took her hand, and his eyes burned with an odd light.

"Dog?" she whispered, suddenly afraid of he who stood before her.

Desperately, without thought, the Dog mashed his lips to her own. The action was filled with longing, but it repulsed them both.

The Dog realized too late that she could not fill the void. No one could. No one could replace the little girl who he had loved so dearly.

He pushed her from him and Moth crumpled to the ground. When she lifted her head, the Dog's gaze was cold and composed once more.

"He's searching for you. He scours the country, and you will not be able to reside within my home any longer."

Moth blinked her eyes, and suddenly understood. Eyes saddened, she reached out a hand and touched his shoulder.

The Dog would not meet her gaze. "You can leave out the back door. There are supplies. Take what you need. Get out of here."

"Thank you..." Moth, remorse in her gaze, softly kissed the Dog on his cheek.

And then she was gone, stealthily nabbing a small bag of supplies and escaping through the back passage.

The Dog stayed where he had been, silent and grave. He knew that Spider would know he had protected Moth.

Spider would know everything, when he came across the Dog's home. The tortures he would inflict would be far worse than death, by a long shot.

And besides... Moth had been the last one left. There was no one else now, not even that insufferably subservient Jakken.

The Dog's lips curled into a heartless smile. It was ironic, for someone like him to die like this... But at least the path he chose was an honorable one.

With the slow moving grace of royalty, he opened the casket that contained Toukijin.

-

SpiritWell: Sorry it took so long. I don't like this chapter very much. But it's okay, and I thought you might all like it. 

Oh! And if you want replies to your reviews, let me know-- I could start doing that again. It would be pretty fun, but it would only apply to review given from now on. Either that, or I could send personalized messages. Tell me what you would prefer, 'kay? Thanks. 


	10. Author's Note

Yeah, I changed this. When I added my chapter, no alert messages were sent, so... Bleh. I just changed the two things back. I'll probably use this for some kind of dialogue between Naraku and Kagome later, or something of that sort.

Spirit-chan 


	11. Chapter 10

A being in a baboon skin glared hatefully at the dead Dog before him.

"Cur. He was housing my precious Moth." it whispered venomously.

Spider was a capricious man. When he owned something, he would squeeze it and toy with it and throw it away.

But he was also a possessive man... none of his toys could ever be permitted to leave him. Especially not this one.

6 and a half months it had been. Ages since he last had her. He did not regret having given her the potion. He could not regret. Except...

He almost regretted that he had been foolish enough to let her slip away. b He had been indulging one of her whims, and she had used his weakness to her advantage.

Spider would have been proud of his pet, if she hadn't used the trick on him. But he knew now, he knew that he could not trust her not to destroy him.

So, instead of seeking her himself, he sent many of his puppets to scour the earth in large groups. They were meticulous and mindless, perfect for the job.

And now, finally, one of them had a lead, in the form of the Dog Demon who had fallen on his sword out of misery and despair.

Of course, Spider knew the only thing that could have fended off that despair for so long.

The Dog's territory was relatively close to his own... It would have been easy for the Dog to see his Moth.

Spider could almost see her coming to him, pleading for refuge.

But that begged the question-- Where would she turn next?

Perhaps another of her foolish friends. The Taijya, her Daemon, and the Monk were dead, sucked into his windhole.

The Half-breed had gone to hell with his Clay-pot miko.

And the Kit... Well, the Kit couldn't be a problem. Spider recognized that with a malicious sort of glee.

He had dealt with the Kit a long time ago.

She had met many in her travels with the Half-Breed, Spider knew. She had learned much, and made many friends.

Friends who would be willing to risk their lives to repay debts? Perhaps. One was never sure of such.

Often, a friend who said they would risk their life for you turns away in time of crisis...

And another, who would never have made such a claim, turns out to save you at extreme risk to their own well being.

So all that Spider would need to discern is which of Moth's friends would fall into which categories.

A worthy research topic. He was almost grateful to her, for giving him a chase. Now boredom was not even an option.

The Kugutsu kicked the Dog, and his lifeless form twisted into an awkward and ugly shape.

The puppet wrinkled it's nose in disgust. "Weak, pathetic Dog. You were never as strong as I."

Nay... The dog had been stronger than he. Much stronger.

He had always been concerned that one day afore-mentioned Dog would lead a rebellion. Now he didn't have to worry anymore.

The puppet turned and left the building, and back in his castle Spider smirked.

Ku ku ku ku... He would have her soon.

Moth fled quietly into the darkening dusk. She needed to escape, go somewhere far away, but she didn't know what she was escaping from.

Maybe the tears streaming down her cheeks... The Dog had wanted something of her she could not give.

She would never truly forgive herself for that. He had been so good to her, and when the time had come to return the favor she was unable to do so.

"Moth is selfish AND lost." she whispered to the darkened wood around her, staring darkly into space.

Oh, how good it would be to travel. Like old times...

But it wasn't like old times. Moth was cold, and no one was there. The oldest time she could remember like that wasn't traveling--

It was in the dungeon where Spider had kept her all of those years, locked away from the world. How long had it been? One year? Ten?

Did it even matter?

A soft rustling in the nearby bushes disturbed Kagome's reverie. She went quiet, listening intently for any further sound. Over there, in that far bush...

In her throat, Moth's words had been strong and commanding.

As they traveled their way through her tired form and reached her lips, they came out in a low hiss.

"Show yourself..."

"I-I... I can't believe it," whispered a voice, so familiar, yet so much deeper than she remembered it, "It is you!"

A pair of arms encircled Moth in a tight hug, and a face, now weather worn and beaten by the pain of time, nuzzled into her cheek.

It was that gesture, that same familiar gesture, that opened Moth's eyes.

She knew then, who this stranger with the vivid red hair and the electric green eyes was. It was her Shippo of old, and yet... No, it was not.

She could not explain this, but he evidently did not desire her too.

Moth hugged her little kitsune, now fully grown, and she was contented.

He and she sat down in a nearby clearing, and her old friend busied himself making them a fire by which to warm themselves.

The shadows were growing long, and Moth was painfully glad that he was there with her.

"You go by Kit now?" she asked softly, putting a bit of kindling on the fire. He nodded, running his fingers through his red hair sheepishly.

"I'm a Jack of all Trades these days. Doing whatever I can... And you, you seem to be quite well known nowadays."

The Kit's words were playful and childish, a memory of long ago teasings, but she flinched as though struck and his eyes darkened.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, sitting down beside her. "I am, I really am. That was bad of me."

The Kit stared at her through dark eyes and Moth almost believed him.

"I will forgive you," she murmured softly. "But you must talk to me."

Moth was not used to conversation. Spider had listened to her rant, but that had not been conversation. Her next host had preferred silence above all else.

The Kit seemed to have no such qualms. He talked into the night, sounding so cheerful and peppy that she was amazed.

He had kept himself the same... But he had changed his name, so she was suspicious. Changed names meant it was someone new.

What had he changed?

Who was staring at her through Shippo's twinkling eyes?

The pair of them chattered quietly, until finally Moth yawned.

She wanted so badly to stay awake, but the anticipation of rest was so wonderful to her tired eyes, and surely Kit could watch for her?

He had said he would, after all, right before giving her a small blanket out of his own pack.

Contented, Moth closed her eyes and succumbed to sleep.

"Have you told her, yet?" Spider's voice taunted the Kit quietly as he stared into the crackling flame.

No, of course he hadn't. Why would he? It was so shameful...

"You are going to do your job, yes?" Again, the voice, the hideous voice!

Yes, he was doing his job. He would take her back to the Spider, and get his pay.

But it had been so good to see her. Despite herself, Moth had trusted him so easily...

That trust. He had had that once. He had believed in her. He had believed in them, he had believed they could save the world. Part of him still did.

"She didn't come back for you, did she?" the venomous voice hissed, chuckling. "She didn't even ask me how you were, any of you. She was too caught up in her own pain."

The Kit's eyes darkened. That was true.

She hadn't come back for him.

He had been the last to survive, he had run away like a coward and watched the others fall.

He had been lost, had been hurt and tortured, had been showed that the world wasn't, in fact, beautiful, in the worst ways possible.

That was her fault. So maybe this wasn't just a job for him. Maybe it was more. Maybe he would be happy to see her cry.

But maybe he wouldn't. That didn't matter, though. Shippo would have cared. The Kit couldn't afford to.

He was a Jack of all Trades. All trades including murder, theft, planned entrapments, cruel games to drive enemies mad...

And kidnapping. He was a Master at kidnapping. He was being paid richly for this, for her.

It didn't feel like enough. But revenge would.

It would have to.

The Kit reached out to grab her arms and tie them. Perhaps he grasped her a little too roughly, for Moth awoke.

"K-Kit?" she asked softly as his grip on her arm tightened and his gaze became sneering, disdainful.

"Yes, Moth," he hissed angrily, "That's me, all right. The little kitsune whose life you destroyed all those years ago, when you never came back."

"I couldn't come back," she whispered softly, "Spider locked me away..."

"You should have come back for me!" he hissed angrily, petulant and childish. Shippo had never grown up. Kit had become his mask.

"I couldn't. I tried to ask for you, but Spider wouldn't let me go. I tried to escape, but it was beyond my power. Believe me, Shippo, I wanted to come back."

She reached a trembling hand up to his cheek and he spat at her, grasping that hand and clenching it so tightly that the bones almost broke.

Moth cried out in pain. Somehow, this only furthered his rage.

She scrambled away, jumping to her feet and backing up until she found herself backed against a tree.

He was still there, right there, eyes blazing hellfire. "I hate you." the man who was her Shippo and not exclaimed. "I hate you, Moth. I hate you."

That was it. The beginning, and the end.

In that moment, that hideous moment when the Kit looked at her, eyes a crazed red from empty longing, she had known.

Moth wanted so badly to be his mother again. She wanted to hold him despite his height, love him despite his hatred.

She wanted to show him that despite all of the bitterness, sunlight could still be beautiful.

But no. He would not let her, this mercenary who had once been her son would kill her before he let her love him.

With tears of regret streaming down her cheeks, Moth whispered her last regret.

"My little Shippo-chan, my lost little Shippo-chan... I am so sorry, so very sorry."

Then she turned and ran away. Anywhere would do.

The trees did not love her at all, not even as Spider had. They stared at her, cold and apathetic, tearing through her skin without a hint of remorse.

Somehow, it did not matter.

The little red haired kitsune of old, Kagome's precious little Shippo with the innocent hear was gone, for good.

She had been right. New names meant new identities. It felt like everyone had changed around her, while she was gone.

The Kit would come after her.

Moth did not care.

The Kit stared blearily at Moth's retreating back.

His eyes hardened, and he moved as if to chase her, only to have a tender echo stop his hand and arrest the movement of his feet.

She was sorry.

Moth, whom Spider had sent him to find and capture, who the Kit had been close to killing in his rage, was sorry.

Moth was sorry. That must mean Kagome was sorry too.

Somehow, it was almost enough.

Spider would probably have the Kit killed for his disobedience. Somehow, this did not cause him much grief.

He let the dagger fall from his fingers. He smiled bitterly at the trees swaying before him, tears pouring down his cheeks.

"No. I'm sorry, Mother."

-----

SpiritWell: 0.o Holy crud. Longest chapter EVAR. Well, this was tiring. I need to rest more. Maybe I'll do a bit of my little Naraku and Kagome commentary when I'm in a more sadistic mood, in chapter 10. That could be fun...

Naraku: Save us, someone. I'm beginning to feel slightly afraid of this woman.

Kagome: SLIGHTLY!

SpiritWell: I'm getting bored with you two. This is repetitive, so I need to think up a way to get somewhere. Hmm...

Kagome: I don't like that feral look in her eyes.

Naraku: Nor do I.

SpiritWell: You shouldn't. La la la la, putting the two enemies in a cold dungeon together. Fuuun! x3

Kagome: Well, that was to be expected.

Naraku: I suppose it was... Not a very nice place. How was it, living here for all those years?

Kagome: Meh. I didn't, the story's alter ego of me did. But from what I can guess, it wasn't exactly sunshine and daisies.

Naraku: Still, I could get used to it.

Kagome: ...That shouldn't come as much of a surprise, should it?

SpiritWell: Nope. Next time-- I turn down the temperature and see how cold it has to get before these two frikkin cuddle!

Kagome: I am SO going to call my lawyer when this is over.

SpiritWell: Review! I know this wasn't exactly up to par, but it was long so I hope that makes up for it. I'm tired. Goodnight. 


	12. Chapter 11

Moth ran as fast as she could, over hill and under dale.

She knew, by now, that the Kit would not follow it, so it was not he she ran from.

His were not the hauntingly cruel eyes that followed her every move.

After a time, the eyes seemed to go away-- but night was deepening, and colder, hungrier eyes began to make themselves apparent.

It wasn't good for a pretty, fleshy thing like Moth to be alone in the woods at night. That much was obvious even to her, so frightened and lost.

She needed to find shelter, some kind of safety.

Then there it was. Moth stumbled upon the edge of the wood and saw a lovely, well tended garden, placed next to an equally lovely little hut.

She made her way to the door and curled up in front of it, closing her eyes.

Moth was tired, so tired that she wanted to cry, so tired that when a pair of large but gentle arms picked her up she could do nothing more than curl up in them.

Safe

Safety.

Warm.

Tended.

Somehow, she remembered those arms.

When Moth awoke, it was on a grass pallet covered in many blankets.

Her heart was full of peace, and Moth just wanted to bury her face into that feeling of contentment, never to leave her safe little nest again.

"H- Have you woken up?" asked a deep, gentle voice. It was coming from outside the hut.

Moth startled ever so slightly, then gave a sleepy nod. "Yes," she murmured softly, "Thank you."

"It is my pleasure." he coughed slightly, and the rice paper over the door that separated the two of them trembled.

She looked at the outline of the monstrous form against that rice paper door and put two and two together. Timidly, Moth called out to the being outside.

"Please come in," she begged softly.

When he did as she had asked, Moth took one good, long look at the sweet and benevolent Jinenji. Then she started to cry.

Flinching at the sound of her tears, this man who was so like he had been, yet so much stronger, turned to leave before he could frighten her any further.

He looked like a wounded puppy. No amount of strength could hide that.

"No," she begged again, still sniffling, "Please stay."

When he turned, Moth held out her arms in a mute plea for comfort.

Hesitantly, he made his way to her side and gently, as though handling fragile glass, he held her in his arms.

Feeling absolutely guilty, Moth began to sob even harder. Everyone wanted her to be Kagome. But...

"I'm not her," she whispered brokenly, "I'm not Kagome. I'm Moth. I'm me."

He who had been Jinenji nodded solemnly.

"I am the Healer," he said, not stammering any longer, "I will care for your singed wings. You do not need to be Kagome here."

She sighed softly and closed her eyes, surrendering control as tears came afresh.

"Oh thank you," she whispered almost religiously, relaxing, "Thank you, Healer."

For a time, there was silence in the room. She was contented to be held so gently. Quietly, Jinenji coughed, but soon the noise was stifled.

Healer was a kind heart, and she was comforted by such gentleness in the midst of all the crudeness of her world.

He seemed to see that, seemed to know that she needed what he could offer. Very likely, he knew everything about her chaotic life.

There were many rumors, after all.

"If you desire, you could stay here," he said, after a time. "I would be delighted to have someone to help me tend to the garden."

Moth sighed contentedly and nodded. "Yes," she murmured, smiling ever so slightly. "I would love to stay."

So it was. She stayed with him, and together they tended the garden.

It seemed to Moth that Healer was almost a holy man.

Though not a man in the physical sense of the term, Healer possessed the inner calmness and power all men aspire to.

During the day, sometimes, she would wander the woods.

It hurt, but it was good for her to remember.

In all of her wanderings, she had never seen any other huts.

She wondered why his was the only one, why the village she vaguely remembered from long ago was no longer where it had been.

This was a thing that caused her much curiosity...

So, one day while they sat in the sun, Healer distant and Moth thoughtful, she decided to ask.

"Where did your village go, Healer?" she asked softly, timidly.

"They were not my village," he returned almost absentmindedly, "And they all died out long ago."

He coughed, and Moth fell silent. Together they sat while Moth tried to figure out her puzzle, confounding bit by bit.

She did not need to figure it out, Moth began to realize over the next few months.

It was so much better to quietly drink tea, to tend to and harvest the garden, to sit with Healer and watch the sunset.

It felt like they had all the time in the world.

But if Moth had learned one thing in her life, it was that good things never lasted forever.

The end of blissful ignorance came all too soon.

"Healer," she chirped one morning, eyes alight, "Let's go watch the sunrise!

...Healer?"

He lay on the bed with a pale face, eyes closed. Healer managed a gentle smile for Moth, an indulgent one.

"Would you watch it for me?" he asked, coughing again. "That would be best."

Moth froze, and the smile fell from her face. She was by his side in an instant, gently touching a hand to his forehead.

"You're icy cold!" she said worriedly.

"...Yes. I am. But do not worry, it isn't contagious. If it were, I would never have taken you in. This weakness will pass. It is simply the way my kind die."

Moth's hand fell to her side. "Die?"

"Yes, Moth. I'm an old man."

"And- I can't do anything about it?"

"No, Moth. You cannot."

Her eyes set ablaze and Moth got to her feet, sobbing fiercely.

"Damn you!" she screamed painfully. "How could you do this to me? How could you make me care about you when you knew I would lose you?"

She ran from the tent and out to the empty plot of soil they always took care of, just in case an extra crop needed planting.

Vengefully, she ripped out the weeds, not caring when the sharp edges of the grassy blades cut into her palms.

After a tim, Moth was done. Numbly, she washed her hands in the stream, carefully cleaning her lacerations.

There were fewer than she had thought. Much of the pain had been of her own mind's making.

She dried her hands upon her simple shirt and rose, returning to the tiny hut.

Healer sat in front of the doorway, and there was a tear rolling down his cheek.

Moth's heart swelled. She looked at him and smiled weakly, hesitantly. "Are you alright now?" she asked, trembling.

"Yes. Tonight is not my last night. We still have a little more time."

"I see. But soon?"

"Yes. Soon."

Moth wrapped her arms around his oversized neck and sobbed.

Time was more precious after that. She spent all of it with Healer, watching him fade away slowly.

All too soon, it was the end.

"I will die tonight, Moth," Healer murmured calmly, sadly. "I have no more time."

"I understand." She knelt down beside him and took his hand. Silently, they watched the sunset.

"I think I could have loved you," Moth whispered tenderly into the darkening light.

"No time," he responded wistfully.

"I know."

"Will you grant me a boon, Moth?"

"Anything, Healer."

"Do not give up. Live. Breathe. Laugh. Be. Promise me that."

Moth was silent for a long moment, and Healer's hand trembled fiercely in her own.

"Promise," he commanded her desperately, "Please."

Moth swallowed her tears. "I-I promise." she said quietly.

"Good. Now get some rest."

She pulled her pallet to his side and took his hand again. The last hint of day faded from her eyes.

"Goodnight, Moth." he said softly.

"Goodnight, Healer."

When she awoke the next morning, his hand was stiff, and cold as stone.

------

SpiritWell: NYAH! DEPRESSING! Isn't that so sad?

Kagome: Poor Jinenji! Waaaaah!

Naraku: Your tears froze on your nose.

Kagome: That's right, we're in a giant refrigerator. One more reason to cry.

Naraku: I'll share my baboon pelt.

Kagome: What a gentleman.

SpiritWell: Now, it's only a matter of time... MUA HA HA HA HA!

Kagome: Did I just hear maniacal laughter?

Naraku: Yes, and the person used too many 'Ha's. Wasn't anyone paying attention to my lecture?

Kagome: Pshaw. Like anyone cares about your darn lecture.

Naraku: That's it, no more pelt for you.

Kagome: NO! I'm sorry!

Naraku: That's better.

SpiritWell: I guess I should be quieter... Still, seems Naraku knows how to handle himself. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually pull this off.

Wish me luck! 


	13. Chapter 12

Without Healer to support her, one would suppose that Moth would have sunk into a state of bitter depression and lost all will to live. Such a thing occurred to her more than once, as she weeded the garden or as she washed the dishes while watching the sun set out the cottage window. Still, it never seemed to happen. She blamed Healer for that-- He had made her swear to continue on, and something within Moth would not allow her to break that promise. Something within Moth had been healed by the Healer, and now she felt strong enough, or weak enough, to continue on working in the small cottage Healer had left her, to continue walking in footsteps that, while being much larger than her own, somehow did not seem too large to fill.

Moth had her time of mourning, and more than a few tears were shed in convulsive grief, but we readers must be kind enough to allow her that shred of privacy, that hint of dignity that not even Spider had been able to take away from her. Healer's body was buried in a small, crudely marked grave in the back garden, but his soul lived on in Moth, and in the work she did for the villagers from neighboring towns, who had occasionally come for potions and poultices. They had not relied on Healer entirely, nor would they allow themselves to rely on her, but they came to appreciate her help, though their visits were scarce and far between. Too many had died, and there was too much fear to make trips unless absolutely necessary.

It was a peaceful life, and a moderately good one, so Moth came to realize that she was contented with her lot. She was contented with the pitter patter of rain on the roof, contented with the soft shine of the warm morning sun, and even contented with the evening nip, though it did make her face pale by occasionally carrying whispers from a Spider who would never forget his dearest prey. Even this could not spoil Moth's new moderately good spirits, for Spider and the woes that came with him seemed so very far away and long ago. Almost like a dream, tugging at the back of her mind insistently. It would not be forgotten, but it simply did not seem all that important anymore, even when she learned of how he ransacked the countryside seeking her presence. The cottage, for now, was a safe haven, and until it would no longer protect Moth the cottage would be where she remained.

After a time that was both long and short, a good few turnings of the moon that was eternal, Moth's time of peace came to an end. This end was heralded in by a sunny, cheerful morning, and the somewhat dreary task of weeding the flower garden. The air was warm, and the breeze was cool enough that the heat of the sun did not beat uncomfortably on Moth's tanned but still tender skin. She listened to the sounds of the rare bird that still found reason to chirp and hummed her own pleasant little tune, hunched over the bed of flowers in her scratchy but comforting sackcloth dress.

There was a rustle in the distance, and Moth tensed. Hesitant, hints of muscularity rippling with tension, she reached for the nearby hoe in alarm. If it were Spider, He whom she had left behind, this measly weapon would do no good, but such was all she had. Rising hesitantly from her sitting position, Moth clutched the hoe in both hands and stood, poised and ready, for the rustling to unearth a black and purple shape with glowing green eyes.

Well, someone was unearthed, but it was not he whom Moth had expected. Instead, from the cloaking of the trees emerged a black haired wolf demon, slightly older and a good deal more worn, with a different pelt than that she remembered. Still, he was the same. He was a recognizable ghost of the past that Moth refused to own, so she pretended to preoccupy herself with a flower she had trampled in her haste to rise. He, not recognizing her, rushed into his speech.

"Before you attack this wolf demon, let me explain. We are too weak to attack you, Mother," he said politely, thinking to address an older woman, "My clan has lost much strength. So I come peacefully in hopes of something, anything, to turn back the hunger. We will work for it, no matter how lowly the job. Please, I beg you."

Tears pricked Moth's eyes. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. Here was cocky young Kouga, reduced to apologies and desperate pleas for aid. How could she refuse to help him, even if she had longed to leave that past behind? Rising and brushing off her knees, she turned to face him.

"Kagome!" Kouga gasped out in shock. She was so different, so changed. Stronger, better, wiser. He was awed.

"I am Moth now." she said calmly, a Queen in this, her domain. He inclined his head as he might to an equal. "And I am Wolf." he said, searching her eyes for some kind of sign of recognition, something other than this polite stranger whom he wanted to embrace and shake at the same time. This confirmation did not come as he had expected it, through a smile or a polite trio of words. That was what she would have done, once upon a time, but seeing him now as he had become brought Moth to tears. She wrapped both arms around his waist and rested her face against his chest. "Goodness, Wolf," she said fondly, "It is good to see you again."

With that, all tension was dispersed, and his arms were around her in an instant. She invited him in for tea, he accepted, and the two proceeded to make polite small talk for a time. When the subject turned to food, Moth said that she would be more than willing to proffer whatever food her humble abode could turn out to any one of his pack who desired it, in return for their labor. He said that would be just fine, and invited her to come with him to see what remained of the pack, and visit 'just for a little while.'

Moth was no fool. She knew if she went with him to his den she would never return, at least not here. She knew that he would try his hardest to keep her and to hold her, but fact was that she didn't have any problem with that at all. So, knowing that it heralded an end to her time of blissful silence and a beginning of something else, she smiled and said a little while would be fine.

Days passed, months passed, years passed, what did it matter? One might say Moth was silly to think this way, as she couldn't have been at the wolf den more than a month, but it already felt like forever. Sister Moth had been accepted as easily into the pack as any wolf demon, finding her place among the females and enjoying Wolf's courtship. Ayame was angered but silent, defeated and proud. Moth felt remorse, and that was all that kept her from Wolf's offer, all that kept her skirting the edges of commitment. She told herself that was all it was. Recklessness was Moth's new motto, and she would dance with any man by the fire, though all she offered was dance. This made Kouga infinitely jealous, but he knew that patience would pay off in the end and waited, with the utmost fidelity, for his turn to dance and teach her the rhythms of a chieftain and his mate.

Finally that night came. It was a hazy night, dark and euphoric, beautiful in every way. Moth was dressed in wolf demon garb, and her surroundings suited her perfectly as she flitted about the circle, a deer among prospective predators, seeking something yet running from it at the selfsame time. Wolf met her in the midst of the fire dance, his eyes laughing and merry from a little too much wine. Her eyes responded with the same message, and they were off, kicking up a dust storm, so used to the smoke that it almost didn't exist. Or if it did, the smoke was them and they were the smoke, one entity dancing in a pulsing circle like the beat of two rhythmic hearts joined in a union of which Kagome had, up until now, barely dreamed of. She and Spider had been close, but never had he shown her this power that she sensed. Oh, what power! She could be drowned in it. Spider had been addictive, but this was not as toxic an addiction as his had been. This addiction seemed sweeter, kinder, more powerful. It thrilled her, so they both drank more wine and when it came time to return to different beds Wolf grabbed Moth's hand and she said Yes, without thought.

To his private cave they fled, and there they joined together in the truest sort of matrimony that can exist in this world, the one of two souls, and the rhythm was in them, for the beat of the drum still echoed in their ears. It was a different beat, a stranger one, but it was still the same beneath, as he moved and she sighed and the wind blew outside. This was sweetness, this was bliss. Moth longed for a safe world for the rest of eternity, and within Wolf's arms she was beginning to think she could find it.

The morning dawned bitter sweetly, with tender kisses and soft words of endearment on his part, and a sinking feeling of regret on hers. Moth did not mention love, nor life bonds, but he knew that in time she would come to adore him as he already adored her. They had been made for one another, once upon a time, and now that bond would spring eternal, held together by cords tighter than any that demon or mortal being could weave. A month was all Wolf needed to make Moth his, and they both knew it.

But there was no month to be had, and what days remained ticked away before their ignorant eyes.

At breakfast, Ayame would not meet Moth's eyes. She could not blame her, and ate with silent shame that very few in the circle understood. Wolf followed her patiently and lovingly, while she walked around in a daze. By late afternoon, her eyes had begun to clear, and by evening she looked like her old self again-- Yet not. Never her old self, nevermore evermore. Who was Moth now? She did not have the same soul, and so the same name would not do. Wolf had offered a long while ago to seek her out a new one, and by now he had found Moth the title of Sister. It was a good name, and she slowly felt it connecting with her soul. Last night had been what she needed to cement Sister into her being and thusly boot Moth out into the cold.

Sister was here. Sister was strong. Sister could live without her dangerous addiction to Spider. Sister would not dream of him at night, Sister would not long for his arms around her once more. As Sister, she could love Wolf, and it would be very wonderful. As the next 5 days passed, she realized it was so, and began to think. On the fifth day, he came to her with love in his eyes and she wanted it so badly that the Yes was on her lips when Sister's world came crashing down.

"WOLF! It's chaos!" Ayame chattered fearfully, interrupting the conversation with her shrill nasally tone. She had just rushed into the room, followed by a slew of injured wolf demons, all of whom Sister recognized. She paled to see that a few were missing, and rose to her feet. "Sister's house was burned to the ground, and the surrounding area is covered in fire. We tried to stop Him, but His Minions were too many and His puppets too powerful. This is not like the other attacks, Wolf. We cannot hold him off any longer."

Sister turned on Wolf with anger in her eyes. "You neglected to tell me this? You neglected to tell me that Spider was ravaging your territory searching for me?" Many flinched when the name rose to her lips, but Sister did not care. "How could you? How... could... you...?" She let out a terrified sob and Sister who could have been fell away to reveal Moth, solitary and lonely. "Why, Wolf?" she asked sadly, tears running down her cheeks, "Why did you try to prolong the inevitable?"

Wolf grabbed her arm, trying desperately to hold onto the woman who he had almost created. "Because I love you," Wolf said desperately, "I love you and you love me. I'll protect you if I can, and if I can't I'll send you off somewhere safe. Don't go. Tell me you love me. Do it, Sister!"

The sobs flowed freely now, and her shoulders shook, but when Wolf moved to hold Moth she put out her arms to stop him. She placed a hand on either side of his face, leaned up and pressed her lips to his with the utmost tenderness. But it was gone, and he choked back a sob of his own as he realized that he would never hold Sister again. "I could have loved you," she said simply, "But now you must let me go. Your path is not with me, it is with Ayame. I wish I had seen that before all this happened." She took Ayame's hand and put it in Wolf's, pressing them together. She turned to Ayame and smiled sadly. "Make him strong for me." she said, eyes intense, "Keep him happy. I know you will."

Even as Sister, Moth had always kept her vital things packed. She supposed she'd always known that this was too good to be true. There wasn't much she would need, where she was going. It was Moth's last resort, and she knew it. Somehow, in the depths of her injured soul, she couldn't bring herself to care.

Wolf had taken Ayame's hand with bitter resignation in his eyes. Now Ayame supported him as he stared at Moth with bleary eyes as she returned to the room, bag in hand. "You are leaving now, then? Where will you go? Who will have you?"

Moth laughed harshly. "No one will have me, dear Wolf, for it seems that no one can. I have one last place to go, one last set of respects to finish, then I am done. My journey will end with a bang, very likely, so whatever happens I beg you not to shed a tear for me. Loathe me for how I destroyed your heart, Wolf, and hate me for how I stole your mate, Ayame, but do not weep for me. I am not yours to weep for any longer. Goodbye, my pack. Goodbye to you all."

The room was filled with the vile taste of silence as Moth picked up her bag and turned, walking out of the cave and into the night. The air was fresh, the breeze was crisp, and the sun was beginning to rise. It dried the tear tracks on Moth's cheeks, and she smiled an empty smile.

"This is the end game, Spider!" she called to the winds, Sister's very last words, "Take your best shot!"

------

Kagome: Seeing as I'm currently nestled into your pelt, the situation can't get much more awkward. So tell me, since I'm feeling reckless and rather depressed by that last chapter, why do you hate me so much?

Naraku: No more than you hate me.

Kagome: That's it? No big You're an awful Miko and I Hate You For Being So Whiny?

Naraku: Well, that too.

Kagome: Ouch.

Naraku: Well... You're the heroine. I'm the villain. Doesn't that pretty much sum the entire situation up?

Kagome: I don't get it.

SpiritWell, Live From Her Author-mobile: Ha! I do! Oh, the glee, almost there, two more chapters! These two need little help from me, so I find myself wanting to thank you all. I've grown in the months I was away, and matured and whatnot, and now I find myself wanting to finish this up. I love everyone who's supported me, and those of you who didn't bother that's okay too. Blessed be to the reviewers who tried to keep me going, and I hope that they like this new chapter. Two more to go, guys!

This one took so long because I actually lost it once. That made me so dejected that I gave up on Ashes for a time. But it is back, and now it will end. When it does so, maybe I'll revise.

Or not.

What? Spirit-chan is lazy, so sue her. I hope you enjoyed, review, and have a happy whatever you celebrate as school comes back and I lose myself in back to school trauma! 


	14. Chapter 13

The air was cold and fresh, nipping at Moth's nose and tearing through her soul. The world was so bitterly cold, and though it was only autumn her heart felt like winter, eternally frozen by the constant battering that she had had to endure. So many years of pain and suffering with no respite in sight. Every friend who had supported her, dead or beyond reach. Every man who she could have loved, murdered or in danger of being murdered by Spider. She had thought she could escape him, she honestly had. Moth had been sure that if she ran hard enough, if she ran far enough, he would disappear and her world would be the way it had been before, never to change.

Sesshomaru would still be unkind and strong. His Rin would be by his side, and their hearts would never have been tainted. Miroku and Sango would be bickering, as always, but she would be blushing and he would be smiling that lazy, perverted grin that had made him irreplaceable to Sango. Shippo would have stayed safe, would have grown up under her care and become a fox demon of prestige, a man both kind and just. He would be safe, he would be happy, he would be alive. She didn't think he actually was. The look in his eyes when he had watched her go, so full of regret that it tore her to pieces, had been a farewell. Jinenji would still be with his village, always brave, and he would never die. Koga would be smiling, growling, trying to convince her to become his mate with the light hearted ease of someone who has forever to persuade his beau.

And Inuyasha...

Inuyasha, her beloved, would be beside her. Her sweet one, her gruff one, the man who she had loved first and loved best. He had always brought out the best in her, and she knew that. He had protected her, adored her, and though she did not come foremost in his heart she came rather close to doing so, and Moth appreciated that. Even though Inuyasha had desperately desired to protect his Clay Pot, she knew it was more out of duty than anything else. He had destroyed her accidentally, had weakened her and brought about her demise. He had owed it to her, to always keep strong. Moth knew Kagome could have accepted that, and perhaps when the Clay Pot had made her peace she and Inuyasha would have been happy. Somehow, some way, they would have made things work, and the sun would shine, and the birds would sing, and they'd have two little ones, a boy and a girl, who they would take on picnics, and-

Oh, how it hurt. The pain of what could have been wrenched Moth's heart in two, and as the pieces bled she wept, her eyes leaking tears to sting the cheeks and deepen the chill. Oh, nothing was worth living anymore. Everything always fell to pieces, and none of it had ever been good enough. Who was she kidding? Half of Inuyasha would never have been good enough. Not even Kagome would have settled for halvesies. It would have been pain either way, pain and suffering, just like it always was. Life was like a box of cherry liquor chocolates, Moth thought. It tasted delicious going down, but the aftertaste and the mind numbing dizziness made you wonder if it was even worth it. If you examined the taste closely, in fact, even the first time down was too sweet, too strong. The chocolate, you realized, had never been worth eating in the first place. The whole thing had been a blasted waste of time, and wasn't Moth a fool for having done it in the first place.

She walked down the winding path, not even looking up. Moth knew which way she was going. How could she have not? It was a path well trodden from so many directions, and she could feel It drawing her in, holding her close, reminding her of the past. She ached at the idea of returning There, but knew she must. There was no choice to the matter, there had never been one. The whole journey had just been a prelude to this, a way of clearing her mind of all sweetness and goodness. She now stood naked, soulless and hateful, bitterer than she had been during those years in Spider's cellar. Moth no longer believed in happiness or virtue. She would call them lies, toss them aside, and walk forward in fear and disgusting despair.

Eventually, Moth made her way into the village. She was greeted with rudeness until she spoke of Kaede, and then all went silent. "Miss," someone said finally, their eyes growing wide with fear, "Kaede died many many years ago. She is but stuff of the history books now." And then it was as though they knew who she was and she was driven out with pitchforks. Moth knew she could not have expected anything different, but it still hurt. It wasn't her fault that she was the one he wanted. She didn't want him to love her, didn't wish him to. He did, that's all. She couldn't help that.

Moth wandered through the forest, sobbing convulsively from time to time as she traveled along. When the Goshinboku loomed into sight, she had to force her heavy feet to step forward, push herself to continue moving. She could not stop, or all courage would be lost. Itty bitty steps, the steps of a coward, brought Moth forward, and she rested her head against the bark of the tree, fancying that she could almost smell Inuyasha's scent, clinging to the place where he should have rested, the place where he should have stayed for all eternity. Perhaps, if she hadn't pulled out the arrow, things would have been different. Maybe she would have died that night, and that centipede woman would have ruled the land with an iron fist. Anything is possible.

Moth gently stroked the bark, feeling the notch in the wood where his claw had raked its surface. She placed her fingers over the cut, splaying them, imagining that he would have had his hand just so, claws digging deeply and drawing out the elixir of the Goshinboku's life. Moth hissed as she pressed her fingernail into the surface, but frenzied digging unearthed that precious life energy once more. She licked her fingers, tasting the bitterness of bark mixed in with the sweetness of sap, and cried a little bit more, feeling as though she should shed them, just for the sake of his memory.

Moth was a wretched creature, the lowest of the low, and she knew it well. There was no escape to the madness, no end in sight, and Moth knew it would never end, could never end. After death, if such an end lay in wait for her, devils would prod and sear her flesh until she sobbed out a desperate plea for love, for support, for ANYONE. Then He would come, somehow, into the depths of hell and bring her out to a hell even more desolate for it's mortal comforts. He would bring her to the hell that was her life as His willing slave, and the toxins would seep back into her willing flesh. Once more, she would be addicted, until one day Moth would wake up and look in the mirror, seeing a face that belonged to someone else. She would cry, and scream, but eventually she would realize that this was all real, and there would never be any escape. Spider had planned it all so well, Moth realized in horror. He had won through losing, and now there was only one place to go, one home to turn to. Oh God, let it work. Let her be safe, let them be there. Let them want her back. Please...

Pulling away from the tree, she started to run, feeling a stitch take up residence in her side almost instantly. Moth was panting soon, but she didn't stop, she couldn't stop, until she'd made it to the well and tried to go through. She scrambled towards it and jumped in, praying to the Gods that she would be allowed this one final boon, this one last chance to escape that which haunted her so thoroughly. Oh god, let it be over. Let it be done, for good. Cut off, like her escape routes. Please, she prayed, let it be the end to all madness.

When the well began to glow a strange shade of blue Moth sobbed out her relief and shock, feeling the familiar sensation of the old well engulf her once more, taking her to the place that had not been home for so long. But... how? She felt something strange glowing deep inside her fingernail and remembered with a gasp what she had done, that day she had been captured. How Spider had come for her, after the jewel, and all she could think to do was chip off a tiny piece and bury it into the skin underneath her fingernail painfully deep. That shard, so long forgotten, was now to be Moth's savior, and she blessed it a thousand fold, shutting her eyes to the darker things in the void.

When she reached the other side, the world seemed different. The humid scent of warm wood permeated her senses, and Moth scrambled out of the well. She saw in front of her a bike, and in the distance there was a house. She heard a voice, little Souta's, calling out. "Kagome, come see!" She wondered why he was talking so oddly and opened her mouth to respond, but someone else spoke words in her own voice. Moth crept off behind a tree and watched in an awed stupor as her old self followed Souta to the well. With a pang, Moth remembered. This was it, the moment when she had first been caught by the centipede lady. This was the beginning of everything, all of the horror and pain. And she could stop it, she could stop it right this instant. Nothing would have happened, none of it. She would be a normal highschool girl.

Awed by the hope this thought offered her, she took a step forward to halt her other self before it was too late.

...Insanity and A Decision. End Of Chapter...

Me: Wow, intense. x3 Yay for intensity! I have the end planned out, so reviewers don't influence it, but I'd still like your opinion on what you think she should do.

Naraku: Well, they don't matter. We all know I'm gonna win in the end.

Me: Erm... Well... Sort of...

Naraku: Whatever. Anyway, Kagome, you actually don't get it?

Kagome: I actually don't.

Naraku: Well, you see, dear, it's the whole 'forbidden attraction thing.'

Kagome: Wha?

Naraku: Okay, here's the translation: I wouldn't mind screwing you senseless.

Kagome: WHA?!

Naraku: Yeah, mutual lust is all there is, plus a ton of mindgames. Come on, you KNOW you want a piece of this.

Kagome: NUH UH!

Me: She SOOOOO does.

Kagome: YOU shut up, authoress bitch.

Me: Waaaaaaaah! You're way bitchier than I am... Biznatch!

Kagome: Biznatch? Oooo, that's low...

Me: Hey! Aren't you going to beat up Naraku for wanting to screw you senseless?

Kagome: Oh, right.

Naraku: "pulls the author aside" Authoress...

Me: You can beat her. I can't. And besides, it'll make for some action, you'll see.

Naraku: I see. God bless you, authoress!

That's better. Anyway, life sucks right now, so I'm angsty enough to write properly again. Final chapter up soon! Tis short, but filled with teh awesomeness. What is teh awesomeness, you ask? Stay tuned and find out! 


	15. Chapter 14 The End

Dear Readers,

Hello. Are you still there? If not, I don't blame you. I abandoned this story for... what looks like 5 years. Yep. I think it really has been 5 years. For 5 years I had absolutely no idea how to finish it. I've changed a great deal in those 5 years, moulded by my own experiences and your kind feedback, but always I came back to this story. Even though it remained untouched, you all still came back to review it from time to time, begging for a final chapter.

I don't know if this chapter will be consistent with the writing style you all loved. Part of me wants to go back and edit the rest of this, make it all match, take out the authors notes which both charm and embarrass me by reminding me of a sweet young girl I no longer am. Most of me is just glad to have finally written this, at 3 o'clock this morning, finally giving you all a conclusion to this story we've gone on together.

Thank you for your patience. Enjoy the story.

SpiritWell

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Humans are interesting in that they can be affected by the slightest trifles. An elephant terrified by a mouse or a man undone with grief when he sees the face of an old lover. Moth took her step forward, and then she took three more. She concentrated carefully upon placing one foot in front of the other, trying not to lose her balance as the earth swayed with unfulfilled possibility. She concentrated so carefully that she did not notice her old bike until she fell into it and tumbled to the ground, tangled up in broken spokes and dried leaves.

Once she had caught her breath, Moth looked over at Her bicycle. Wondering, reverent fingertips caressed the wheels and she remembered how excited had been whenever she packed for the feudal area. Scrolls for Miroku, trinkets for Sango, pocky for Shippo and ramen for Kagome's True Love. She remembered riding her bike and knowing that Inuyasha had slowed his stride to make sure that she didn't fall out of his sight, Kagome laughing to herself as he grumbled over how slow and stupid ningen girls shouldn't be responsible for important missions. He had been cruel at times, breaking her heart on a weekly basis, but she had loved him. She had loved all of them, and she didn't regret that love. Could she honestly give that up, even to escape the demon who now haunted her day and night?

Spider. She hated him. She loved him too. She would always love him, in spite of herself and everything she believed in. They were well-matched: both lost in the shadow of a previous name, both twisted, both broken, both lost in the depths of pride and pain while all they really needed was love. Not the bad sort, but not really the good sort either—the real sort, you might call it. Love, with all the strings, false-meanings and double entendres the word implied.

Love, Power, Protection and Spider. Was that it, then? Was that what she wanted?

Moth rose to her feet and watched as Kagome was dragged down into the well. A terrified Souta ran inside to his Mother, who offered him a cup of tea and told him to stop fussing, because his sister could take care of herself.

Brushing little twigs from her hair, Moth made her way towards the well. "Things will be hard, Kagome," she murmured, voice choked with emotion, "And you'll want to give up sometimes, but you won't because your Mom is right. You can take care of yourself, though perhaps not well… And if you can do it, maybe I can too. You've haunted me, overshadowed me and now you may have given me the answer to a question I never thought to solve. I've never been one to stay indebted to another, so now I offer you a gift. This name was given to me by a very bad man and then used by many others, male and female, good and bad, shades of grey. I hope it serves you better than it has served me."

Moth, she whispered into the well, and the word echoed down into the shadowy depths. It was swallowed by the magic and taken through to the other side, where it whispered out and settled itself into Kagome's eyes. One day, an arachnid would see it and call it forth, creating a person who should never have been. For now it hid within the twinkle in a young girl's gaze as she said the word that would cement her relationship to a whiny half-breed for the first time.

If Kaede had seen it, she never said so.

The Nameless One wrapped her arms around itself. Without a title to call herself by she felt naked, but it was good that way. Her nakedness was a freedom in and of itself, and all things considered she was glad to let go and leave that name behind. All but one issue had been concluded, and that issue would have resolve itself. All she had to do was sit beside Buyo and scratch his ears while she waited for her Spider to appear. The Nameless One felt something sputter back into life within her, shining brightly. She doubted that would take very long.

Soon enough, she could smell his decay rising and filling the air. Buyo hissed and ran to the house, hiding in the bushes and offering a baleful glare. Seated, serene, she breathed a few times and realized that the smell was nowhere near as bad as she had thought it. His eyes were not as terrifying as she had thought him, and a pleasant sort of familiarity struck her when a tentacle crept forward to wrap itself around her wrist. Smiling fondly, she placed her other hand atop the noxious thing and watched as Spider stepped out of the well. He settled himself against it and offered her a feral grin.

"I finally found you, pet."

She stared up at him, eyes twinkling curiously. "Yes, Spider."

He was unnerved by her tranquility, but shook off the feeling like an errant fly. "It's time to come home now, love, so that things may return to the way they were before."

She rose and jerked her wrist, sending his tentacle flying. "No."

He watched her cautiously, confused by the serenity in her eyes. The young woman was poised and unafraid, a foreign variable in a previously perfect plan. "No?"

"Things can never be the same," she told him, closing the distance which separated them. "Not between us."

"Because I've killed your lovers, you mean?" he laughed, incredulous and mildly amused. "Because I've slaughtered your whingy little pets, pursued you even into your strange future realm, claimed the throne which is rightfully mine?"

"No," she told him, placing a hand on his chest. Tendrils of miasma surrounded her face, but the Nameless one did not flinch as the poison seeped into her lungs. "Though that is all a part of it."

He examined her carefully. Moth was his creature, through and through. Spider was certain she belonged to him, in all the ways a woman could belong to a man and more besides. "Why, then, precious," he asked finally, "Do you dare tell your Lord that things must change?"

The air blew cool around them, and Moth felt within her a stirring. The remnants of Kagome's soul surged upwards. _Yes,_ they urged, _yes, now, in this place. Do as you must. In this, as in all else, I am with you._

No longer Kagome, Moth, or any other being she had been before, the little Japanese girl felt a great weight lift from her shoulders at the words. She reached under Spider's hakama, pressing her palm to his chest. "I say that things must change," she told him, smiling faintly, "Because, my Lord, I am about to change them."

She grasped the shikon jewel he wore around his neck and wished.

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((The story, if you so choose, ends here. I did, however, have two ideas for endings. They have been posted below.))

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**Ending One:**

In another time and another place, two small figures lay sprawled in the dirt. One was a young woman, with ebony hair and skin as white as snow. Her male counterpart, gender aside, was very much the same, though both were so covered in soot and grime that their white skin was much disguised.

He awoke before her and rose to his knees. The miasma was gone. The voices- gone. Only he was in his own head now, and the boy was unsure he liked the change.

She had... freed him? Why? His newfound mortality made him weak, yes, but it would have been so much easier to simply wish him into nonexistence.

He stared at the beautiful face before him, marvelling as she slept. Whomever this girl was, she who had met him beside the well, Moth was no longer her name. This woman was someone entirely foreign to him.

He lifted her into his arms and rose to his feet. The sun beat down upon his head and he perspired heavily, enjoying the new sensation. He tested his lips by curving them into a smile, setting foot after foot down on a path of his own making.

Whomever this curious woman was... He looked forward to making her acquaintance.

**Ending Two:**

The being who remained stared down at its hands in wonder. Female, yes, but such had not always been the case for one of the consciousnesses who lived inside.

'What sorcery is this?' hissed the remnants of Spider, curled in the corner of a stranger's mind, 'Witch, what have you done to me?'

The Priestess smiled and gathered the little Spider into her arms, pulling him close. 'I have made you complete, beloved,' she said, ignoring his protests, 'By making you one with me.'

Then she opened her mouth and swallowed him whole.

Demon, mortal, shikon miko. Whatever the new creature was, It rose to its feet and surveyed Its surroundings. Mother would think It an aberration if It found her now- the prior Kagome had not yet been lost to time. When she was, perhaps they would play cuckoo and enjoy the privileges of Kagome's emptied nest. Until then...

Well, It would find some way to pass the time


End file.
